It is a powerful feeling that slowly weasels into the core of your wellbeing and clouds your common sense with lust, recklessness and obsession. It steals your heart and soul, and replaces them with emptiness.
Words cannot begin to describe the feeling of loving another human being – the countless, sleepless nights you spend fantasizing about their flawless beauty. The amount of tears you shed while imagining the limbs of your fragile body intertwined with theirs.
Only the darkness of the night and the brightness of the moon will ever know of your carnal desire and pain. Love has poisoned you; left the taste of venom on your lips. You have been cursed. He was never yours to begin with. You didn’t share the same poison. It was just a figment of your silly imagination.
These sharp daggers were meant to massacre your soft flesh; slowly ripping your limbs apart until every sliver of you bled. His interest only skimmed the surface of your curves and it was never meant to linger for longer than a moment. Outrun these sinful thoughts – run as fast as your legs can carry you – do not let the meaning of his words settle in the back of your mind. Hide the shame. Hide the pain. It is useless to fight back. A part of you has already accepted the defeat and the other part will wallow in pity and eventually die in loneliness.
Where do I go from here? I’m not strong enough to make the same mistake twice, yet I’m not weak to stop myself from drinking the poison for the second time. Will I let another love rape my soul and toss it in the gutter? I cannot live with poison on my lips, but I cannot breathe without his love.
New Love, do not tell me to forget the painful intimacy I once shared with Old Love. The sinful memories, perfumed with lust, will forever be engraved on my beating heart with blood. New Love, don’t be jealous.
Instead, breathe fire into my lungs, rid my mind of demons the Old Love left, and fistfight with fire for my beating heart.
Then, and only then, I will be yours.